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2004 Top 10

The Year's Best Films

1. Hero
2. Vera Drake
3. Dogville
4. Spartan
5. Kinsey
6. Sideways
7. Crimson Gold
8. Touching the Void
9. The Five Obstructions
10. Goodbye Dragon Inn

Runners-up: Bad Education, The Aviator, Million Dollar Baby, Before Sunset, Shaun of the Dead, House of Flying Daggers, The Mother, The Motorcycle Diaries, Spider-Man 2, Alexander.

The Year's Worst Films (There But For the Grace of God Go You), in chronological order: The Perfect Score, Twisted, Cody Banks 2: Destination London, The Whole Ten Yards, My Mother Likes Women, Soul Plane, Yu-Gi-Oh, Benji: Off the Leash!, The Cookout, Surviving Christmas.

Overrated: Finding Neverland, Zelary, A Very Long Engagement, Love Me If You Dare, The Return.

Underrated/Undersold/Overlooked: Spartan, Alexander, She Hate Me, Crimson Gold, The Reckoning, Gozu, The Agronomist.

My "That's-a Some Spicy Meatball!" Award goes to Gozu: Takashi Miike, at it again, gives the International Journal of Gynecological Pathology something to write about.

Coolest Titles: Team America: World Police, Baadasssss!, Yes Nurse! No Nurse!, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

Worst Titles: Welcome to Mooseport, Super Babies: Baby Geniuses 2, My Mother Likes Women, The United States of Leland.

Best and Worst Title: Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

Aptest Titles: The Terminal, Sleepover, Taking Lives, You Got Served.

Inaptest Title: National Treasure

The Mike LaFontaine "Wha' happuned?" Award: Primer and Donnie Darko: The Director's Cut

The Michael Caine Award: Jude Law, for starring in I Heart Huckabees, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Alfie, and Closer, and appearing in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events and The Aviator.

Demented Double Features:


  • Kinsey/A Dirty Shame (2003) (everything you always knew about sex* but were afraid to say)
  • Fahrenheit 9/11/America's Heart and Soul (One State, Two State, Red State, Blue State)
  • We Don't Live Here Anymore/Closer (the infidelity special)
  • Shark Tale/Open Water ("I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?")
  • Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring/The Day After Tomorrow (climate change dramedy)

    Marathon Madness:

  • Chasing Liberty/The Prince and Me/Ella Enchanted/First Daughter/The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement/Shrek 2/A Cinderella Story (can we all get together and bury the princess myth, already? Pretty please?)
  • 50 First Dates/Twisted/Secret Window/Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind/The Manchurian Candidate/The Forgotten/The Machinist (I did what now?)
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