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Ultraviolet

(2006) * Pg-13
88 min. Screen Gems. Director: Kurt Wimmer. Cast: Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund, William Fichtner, Sebastien Andrieu.
Here we go again: another supposedly empowering female-headlined action movie that goes well out of its way to tart up its hero in skin-tight outfits, silky hairdos, and high-caliber accessories. Methinks this fantasy isn't really for the women in the audience. Writer-director Kurt Wimmer manages to make a sci-fi actioner that's stupider and less tasteful than his last picture, Equilibrium. That's some sort of feat, I guess. The predictable balance of mindless action and ridiculous tenderness is scored with the obligatory bad techno and bad orchestral music. It's all here: the cheesy iterations on The Matrix's "bullet time" special effects, the vampires, the senseless Christian imagery, and scads of unintentionally funny moments. Unsatiated by the Resident Evil pictures, Milla Jovovich plays the hope of the hemo-phages in their blood war against the humans. Yeah, you read that right—you got a problem with it? Caught in the middle is a viral, human-time-bomb clone-kid (Cameron Bright, counting the minutes 'til Thank You for Smoking comes out). The real blood war is between this movie and the slightly better Aeon Flux, which Wimmer seems to rip off as freely as Equilibrium plagiarized Fahrenheit 451 and The Matrix. Jovovich's catch phrase in Ultraviolet is "Watch me," but for God's sake, don't listen.
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