Lions Gate Films.
Director: Gregory Dark.
Cast: Glen "Kane" Jacobs, Michael J. Pagan, Christina Vidal, Samantha Noble, Rachael Taylor.
Well, Lions Gate Films didn't see fit to screen See No Evil
for us critics, so I went down to my local multiplex to see for myself: first show on opening day. I was the only one in the theatre—no one even snuck in late. Turns out that's a very good thing, since See No Evil
, the first and hopefully last film from WWE Films, makes Hostel
look like Hamlet
. For the uninitiated, WWE stands for World Wrestling Entertainment, and hulking wrestler Kane stars as Jacob Goodnight, a trauma survivor who apparently grew up to take steroids on his way to becoming a serial killer who swings a meat hook on a chain and relieves his victims of their eyeballs. And he's the most sympathetic character in the movie, since all of his victims are jerky, incarcerated teenagers participating in a work program at the condemned hotel where Goodnight lurks. I suppose at least some of the gorefans who stick it out to the end of this Amateur Hour-and-a-Half will be satisfied by the disgusting deaths and ugly excuses for creativity, like dogs lapping up blood and urinating into eye sockets, but here's my humble opinion: under no circumstances should anyone watch this movie, ever. It isn't fit for human consumption.